Ensure the children’s interests are being met
Ensure that the children are interested and engaged in what they are doing and if they are not then change the resources or activities.
Distract and divert
Distract the child and divert them to a different activity. The new activity must be as engaging as the original one or an activity that would be meeting their interests. Consider one that is different to the activity. Think about how you are sounding - make sure you sound excited about the distraction “Oh wow, look at that amazing…”
Planned ignoring (of the behaviours)
Agree with the whole team, about the behaviours you are not going to respond to, ignore them (behaviours) and praise other children for carrying out the desired behaviour. Planned ignoring does not mean, no interaction with the child.
Offering limited/clear choices
Offering two choices gives the child some choice as well as ensuring that they are doing something that is expected, for example, “Do you want to put on your coat or your shoes first?” It is important that you allow the child enough time to make that choice and not rush into it (remember it can take up to 10 seconds for a child to process a question and respond).
Clear and positive instructions
Think about the child’s language and understanding developmental level – do they need a very simple one- or two-word instruction that is positive, for example, instead of stop running, “Walk please.” Repeat if necessary and use the child’s name first if needed, for example, ”Harry walk please”.
Acknowledging children’s feelings
Valuing the child and validating their feelings. This strategy helps the child to feel respected and names the feeling so that they understand why they are reacting that way.
Use an agreed script
It is helpful for children to hear consistent messages from all practitioners, especially when responding to any behaviours that are causing concern. This approach will also contribute to the development of a supportive culture within your staff team.
Consequences, not punishment
Punishment is a negative experience, which leads to negative feelings which leads to unwanted/unsafe behaviours. When considering what consequences to use, it is best to choose the one that will be the least restrictive and give children the greatest opportunity to learn from the situation. Talk through the consequences and why it is being imposed. If consequences are too harsh, children will spend their energy being angry at you, rather than considering what they did wrong.
Reflect, repair and restore
Depending on a child’s developmental stage it can be helpful to do a ‘debrief’ with a child after an event such as hitting, or biting so that the child can re-tell and explore the story with a changed set of feelings
The Debrief might look something like this:
- Explore what happened (tell the story), for example, “Let me tell you what I saw…” “Do you want to tell me anything about it?”
- Explore what the children were thinking and feeling at the time, for example, “How did that make you feel?” “How do you think the other child might be feeling?”
- Explore who has been affected and how, for example, “The other boy says he doesn’t want to play in the sand.”
- Explore how we can repair relationships, for example, “What do you think needs to happen to make things right.”
- Summarise what we have learnt so we can respond differently next time, for example, “What could you do next time.”
If this strategy is not appropriate for the child because of their level of development it may still be an appropriate strategy for adults to reflect, repair and restore the relationship with the child. Think about including this as an essential part of the whole team approach to managing behaviours and supporting the adult’s emotional wellbeing.
